Comedian Cameron Esposito, known for recurring roles on ABC series like A Million Little Things, is getting candid about their journey with bipolar disorder in a new comedy special 4Pills, premiering April 11 on Dropout TV, People reports.
Esposito, now 43, was diagnosed with the condition at age 40 after a struggle with substance abuse led to the realization that “my behavior was a part of what was making it hard to have relationships,” they told People. “I was struck with a moment of clarity.”
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After going to rehab and connecting with a psychiatrist, the diagnosis “just made sense to me,” Esposito said. “I started reading a lot about it and identifying other people who are open about this diagnosis, and I was like, ‘Oh yeah, I think I might have something in common with them.’”
In 4Pills, named for the daily medication regimen Esposito follows, the comedian uses their signature dry wit to give viewers an inside look at life with bipolar disorder. “It’s like, ‘We originally created this to treat foot fungus but we have found it will prevent you from killing your parents,’” they joke about the meds’ unintended uses in an exclusive clip shared with People.
The special’s unique filming style mirrors the experience of going on bipolar medication, Esposito explained. “Some of the camera angles get a little more extreme,” alternating between a traditional stand-up set and a soothing, audience-free white backdrop “to really show the difference between the vibrant life that I still have [with] the soothing and self-reflective experience of being medicated.”
Esposito describes the manic episodes that have been both a “superpower” fueling fearless creativity and a destabilizing force. “The problem with mania [is] once you’re in a manic state, is that there is no end to that escalation until it crashes,” they told People, noting the allure of those “high, high peaks” makes people with bipolar the most likely to go off meds.
For Esposito, “it’s a conscious choice … that medication allows me consistency” to achieve “long-term goals that those high, high peaks make pretty impossible.” As a comic, they have the rare freedom to openly discuss these challenges. “If you are an accountant, it might have very big consequences if you talk about that at work.”
By sharing their story, Esposito hopes to bridge the “vast” distance between those dealing with bipolar disorder and those who aren’t. “Understanding is that bridge that we’re all looking for to be able to connect. That’s what comedy does, and that’s what I hope this special achieves,” they told People.
Variety reports that 4Pills, which Esposito directed, promises to take audiences “on a surreal journey through the ups and downs of her bipolar disorder diagnosis, with detours to talk about marriage, divinity school and one extremely unlucky dog.”
It’s the latest boundary-pushing special from Esposito, whose acclaimed 2018 hour Rape Jokes tackled sexual assault from her perspective and raised over $100,000 for anti-violence non-profit RAINN. The busy creator and actress, also known for Take My Wife, Queery, and memoir Save Yourself, has recently appeared on The Rookie: Feds and Station 19.
